My 4-year-old is sitting behind me on the couch, coo-ing at his newborn brother, who’s smiling at him. “Hi baby,” he says in a gentle, sweet voice, “it’s Uncle!” he says.
I giggle, “Baby, you’re a big brother, not an uncle.”
“Oh, heh, yeah, I fuhgot. Sowwy!” he responds.
He lovingly reaches over to stroke his baby brother’s face again. “Hi baby, it’s Uncle Big Brother!”
4-year-old fails to eat his dinner (Pork Wontons he calls ‘meatballs’ because of the pork inside). Often times he decides to get down from his dish when he’s not done, prompting me to have to get mad take action. So I ask him to bring me 2 wontons. After bringing them, I, of course in typical mom form, became sidetracked with my newborn, or toddler pulling at my shirt. Next thing I know they’re gone. So I ask the inevitable question, “Where did the wontons go?”
“I don’t know,” he replies.
“Where did they go?” I ask, more sternly.
“I think they walked away,” he replies, completely straight-faced.
“Yeah, they suuuure are sneaky.”
Same night – my 8-year-old daughter called our wontons “croutons”.
My 8-year-old son called them “ragoons” (because we often eat crab rangoons).
My 4-year-old son called them “coupons”.
My husband takes the eggs out to prepare eggs for the younger kids and omelets for the older kids and ourselves. He asks our 8-year-olds what they’d like in their omelets. Our daughter yells out “turkey, cheese. Oh yeah, and some eggs”
While burping my newborn, I’m channeling my inner Bill Cosby, encouraging him to burp by chanting “Push it out, shove it out, wayyyyy out!” when my 8-year-old daughter comes up and asks me what I’m singing, that she ‘doesn’t get it.’ “Did you make the song up?” she asks me.
“No, it came from a comedian……” she cut me off before I could finish.
“What’s a comedian?” she begins, “is it someone with a lot of children?”
This same 8-year-old daughter dressed up like a skeleton for Halloween. After receiving candy from one house, she comes back with her gleaming Cheshire-cat kind of smile and says “That guy gave me extra candy!”
Confused, I said “Really? Why is that?”
She replies, “Yeah, he said I need to eat more candy, that he could see my bones! So I asked him if he was calling me a vegetarian.”
My 4-year-old comes up to me and says “Mommy, you’re a great computer worker, and you deserve a sticker!” and proceeds to stick a sticker on me… from the Chiquita banana.