Dinner and a Comedy Show

I swear that it’s never dull in our house. I mean, with six kids, how could it ever be? For dinner last night, though, it was truly a comedy act.

We marinated chicken in a miso-soy sauce and made grilled paninis with roasted red peppers, spinach and a ginger mayo with homemade onion rings. The kids were happily eating this feast (thank you Robin Miller) when my daughter asked what was in it. Usually a kiss of death, because the second they hear you include in the ingredients something they don’t normally like, it’s the end of their enjoyment of your meal. True story.

We explained to our beloved daughter that it was a type of soy sauce, and that, coupled with the ginger mayo, made it a Japanese meal. My 5-year-old suddenly pipes up “Konnichiwa!”

We all stop short, look over at him, giggling at this point. “Very good, baby, where’d you learn that?” expecting him to say school, or something.

“Scooby Doo,” he replies.


My 2-year-old tries to say it, “Bunnichi-wan!”

Everybody giggles, including her. Hysterically. Ah well, she tried.

My teenager, who has the strangest sense of timing, chimes in “You know, I recognized someone at the pool party last night – it was a substitute teacher I once had!”

My 9-year-old daughter asks, as though she knows who it was, “Was she the lifeguard?”

Teenager: “No, but I know one of the lifeguards. The Asian one.”

5-year-old interjects, “Konnichiwa!

2-year-old chimes in her version as well, “Ton-easy-what!”

Everyone bursts out laughing. My daughter replies to the two one-word-wonder children, “No, that’s Japanese.”

My husband nearly chokes. “Uh., honey? Japan is in Asia, which makes it Asian, so he’s kinda right.”

5-year-old says boastingly responds to her, “Konnichiwa!” (didn’t see that comin’, did ya?)

At this point, everyone is still laughing from before. My 2-year-old attempts to say it again “Con-cheesey-watt”

Everyone laughs harder. Even the baby, who of course, has no friggin’ clue what is happening, other than his family fighting back tears.

Teenager, again with strange sense of timing and topic issues, “There’s a kid in my class who’s going to dye his hair, even his eyebrows.”

9-year-old son stopped laughing to ask, “Why?”

Teenager responds in all seriousness, “So he can stop being called ‘carrot top’, ‘cheddar-head’, ‘cheese-puff’…”

9-year-old daughter, with this deer-in-the-headlights look upon her face, asks “Why would they call him that?”

Husband, who knew she wouldn’t understand, trying again not to choke, responds, “Uh, why do you think, baby?”

She sits and thinks for a minute or two. Meanwhile, my 9-year-old son answers, “Because he’s got red hair?”

My husband and I both nod as we stuff our faces full of the sumptuous sandwich, as our 9-year-old daughter, still clueless, who didn’t hear the answer already, attempts to guess. “Is it because it’s his favorite color?”

Husband almost chokes. Again. “DORK! No, it’s because his hair is red!”

9-year-old daughter: “Ohhhhhhhhhhh!”

Everyone laughs even harder at the Queen of Dork, who begins to laugh at herself, too.

5-year-old son, not missing a beat to get his new, favorite word in: “Konnichiwa!”

2-year-old daughter, finally getting it right, belts out “Konnichiwa!”

Everyone laughs hysterically.

After many minutes of laughing to the point of crying, I finally compose myself and look at my husband. “Why do I never record our dinners?”

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