As I navigated the narrowed aisles in the PX, shopping for a leftover this or that to buy for the holiday, I felt broken. I felt off. This holiday, much like last years, felt all kinds-of wrong to me. Last year, though, it was trying to fit our circular family into this square post, quite unsuccessfully. Being new to town, everything that could go wrong did go wrong. It was a mess. Christmas was labored, as was our new life, as we struggled to find peace and normalcy in a foreign place.
This year, I’m no longer struggling to fit in here, I know we won’t and we’re doing a lot better with that knowledge. But the woes I’m experiencing this year are from my feeling inadequate, angry and resentful for being somewhat blind. I feel very, very ashamed by it.
The economy has really taken it’s toll, and many more families in the blogosphere are suffering than I had thought. I had the chance to listen to some of the stories some of these ladies have to tell, what’s really going on behind the scenes, and I felt downright heavy, with my heart full and weighted.
Lately, I had been griping about my children misbehaving and crumbs being left on the floor. What the hell is the matter with me? I was busy being bewildered by their childishness and lack-of-cleanliness, busy being angry and wondering, why were we buying new things for them to disrespect and not put away? Meanwhile, there are families going without, utilities being shut off, borrowing to purchase groceries, and what was I doing? Bickering over kids being kids and my possibly buying too much.
Guilt tastes pretty bitter, if you ask me. The acid in my stomach began eating me alive. Who had I become? I most certainly didn’t see myself in a favorable light.
We are not well off by any means, we save money and shop frugally as much as we can, but there has got to be some way for me to use my frugal talents to help, some thing we can do to help those that need it. Families are in need and I can’t sit by and do nothing to help. If I can help them, I want to help.
I’ve donated locally, but I really want to help those in the blogosphere who need it, too. With that in mind, I created a “Good Will in a Box” campaign. One box to help someone. I’m not asking for anyone to spend a million bucks, here. But a box filled with a couple things, for instance, some coupons, a handwritten card, crafts, knit items, outgrown clothes, formerly-loved toys, a gift card to a supermarket. Or for you reviewers, perhaps a review item that you know someone’s child might like? We’ve all got things we can give to help others. I’ve seen a lot of love here in the blogosphere, and I honestly think that if we pull together, one box can make a big difference.
What do you think? Would you like to join me, to help someone? Or are you someone who could use a little help? Fill out this questionnaire if you’re interested. Together, let’s band together and help each other out. I’m only sorry I didn’t think of this sooner, for it to help in time for Christmas.
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