Top 10 Ways to Get Grounded (Take Note, Children)

Top 10 Ways to Get Grounded
by Lisa “Sick-of-It” Douglas

  1. Make your mother repeat everything she says at least twice. She really loves repeating herself over and over. 
  2. When she threatens to “Black Bag” your room because it’s continually messy, go ahead, keep leaving your dirty laundry on the floor. She loves washing three-day-old crusty underwear and stinky soccer socks.
  3. When she tells you to play nice with your sister, and your sister aggravates you, and you attempt to throw a punch her way? Don’t be surprised at how much your mother will LOVE it!
  4. When your parents forewarn you NOT to spend all your days texting, but then they randomly check their bill to see you’ve texted 2600 times in a week? Yeah, that’s a great job listening, there.
  5. When your mom asks you to do your chore, and it takes you forty-five minutes to do it, because you procrastinate/have to eat/use the restroom/have a cramp, and then she practically has to beg you to get it done? That’s her idea of a good ‘ol time right there.
  6. When your mother is forced to go grocery shopping by herself (because your Dad’s away), and you, toddler-type person, choose to hang, push, pull, drag, get-in-the-way, touch e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g you see when she is trying to make this a quick trip, that’s a GREAT way to get her to say “yes” to gum or M&Ms at check-out.
  7. She loves it when you keep trying to finish her sentences when she’s finally having an actual adult conversation. She loves your constant interruptions.
  8. Speaking of interruptions, do your best to make as much noise as possible when she’s on the phone, she loves being “that person” that has to yell while on the phone.
  9. When she asks you to clean up after yourself in the bathroom, she loves finding toothpaste dried on the side of the sink, dirty clothes all over the floor (with the hamper two feet away) and wet towels in a pile instead of hung up.
  10. She loves wiping up piss from you boys, who refuse to hit the toilet or lift the seat. It’s so much fun for her!
(And the funny thing about each and every one of these? Had they have listened the first time (#1), this all could have been avoided!? But noooooo……)

Come on, you know you want to add to this list, too. (And leave your blog’s link when you do, I’ll update my list above.) So tell me, what is your children’s “favorite” ways to get grounded?

Reader submissions:

11. “Interrupt mommy while she’s blogging!” – Mammatalk

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