Lack of Coffee Super Cleaning Powers

It’s 8:30am and I’m just now sitting down. The kids are fed, off to school, hubby is probably stuck in morning rush hour traffic, and I’m finally slurping my first delightful cup of coffee while dripping sweat.

Why are you sweating, Lisa, you ask?

Imagine, if you will, my kindergartner getting dressed while I was attempting to quick-fold a load of laundry from the dryer left overnight (ahem), when I hear my tired eight-year-old who didn’t lift the toilet seat and whizzed all over the toilet, the floor, e-v-e-r-y-w-h-e-r-e.

I hadn’t even gotten halfway through my cup of coffee before I was bent over with spray in hand cleaning it, secretly cursing boys and wieners and stupid toilets. @#*$&@#$!

But, the more I scrubbed, though, and the more I sprayed, before I knew it, ten minutes later I had fully cleaned my half-bathroom. Boom, baby!

I looked over my shoulder, and to my surprise, the older kids were handlng their mornings themselves, hubby helping the younger kids, and so I just continued on with my cleaning ways, and did not stop until now.

I hand-mopped by the garbage, then grabbed a new towel to move up to the countertops, cleaning them off of school papers and random breakfast and school lunch crumbs. I was a scrubbing fool!

And I just kept going, realizing that the kids didn’t do their chores properly (or at all) last night. Perhaps I was frustrated or cranky from lack of caffeine, because I ended up Angry Cleaning. Even though I hate being angry, I looooove Angry Cleaning. You work out your aggressions on dirt and grime all while working full-speed and getting your cleaning tasks done with FURY.

I’m also a Phone Cleaner, too, so I decided to be both this morning, because I picked up the phone to talk to my mom and sister before she went to work. Furiously, angry, phone cleaning while keeping a crawling infant at bay from the dirt piles I would sweep and from the stack of laundry I’d find left in rooms.

(What is it with babies and dirt piles, anyway? What is so attractive about dust bunnies, crumbs, lint, and tiny pieces of paper?)

I don’t know why the incident of my son hosing down the bathroom caused me to go on this crazy cleaning spree, but I must tell you, it felt good to let off some steam this morning and sweat profusely and have chores done before I’d barely even started my day.

And now that I’ve fed Baby V, put her down for a morning nap, fed my Baby Dude, and am JUST NOW finishing my first cup of coffee, I feel like the day can “officially” start. BRING IT ON, THURSDAY!

This first cup of the day has never been so well-earned, and tasted so delicious, ever.

How about you? How was your morning so far? Do you like to “Angry Clean” too? Or are you the “Phone Cleaning” type, like me? What helps YOU get cleaning done?

(P.S. Not but ten minutes after posting this, Baby V is up to Operation Eff Sh!t Up Because the House is Clean™. Sigh.)

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