The Time I Almost Set the Christmas Tree on Fire (Giveaway!) #DaddysHome

This blog post is part of a paid SocialMoms campaign for “Daddy’s Home” in theatres nationwide on Christmas Day. The crazy stories and ideas expressed here are definitely my own. I thoroughly enjoy decorating for the holidays, we go “all out” decorating almost every doorway, every flat surface, empty spot on the wall, the kitchen […]

“Birdie Birth Control” – You Don’t Hear That One Every Day

The @#*($&@#($@#*&$ birds are trying to make a nest on our porch again. The second I heard their evil, squawky peeps, I felt as though I had PTSD, and I immediately twitched tourrettes-like. I exploded out of the house, waved my hands like a freakin’ crazy lady and screamed “Get outta here!” My kids came […]

I Think The Medical Profession Hates Me

There’s a reason why people are afraid to go to the doctor – they’re afraid. Some are afraid of needles. Some are afraid of the tests conducted (and even more afraid of the results). Some are afraid because they fear taking medications (and their side effects being worse than what they’re taking the medicines for […]

Hell Has a Name, It’s Called “Yesterday”

Admittedly, in the waning days of summer, I let the house go. We were living too much in the moment, so busy with living these last summer days, I figured, once school started, that I’d get all Rambo on the chores and into Full House Cleaning Mode™. That is, until the enormity of the task […]

I Said the F Word Eighteen Times, and Daylight Savings Can Suck It

My texts to husband-type-person this morning were not happy ones. Eigh. Teen. Times. I said the F word to him in texts. I know, what a potty mouth, that’s sooo bad. But look, when I, myself, get up ON TIME and go to fix my beloved coffee, realizing that it’s still dark upstairs, that means my […]

When Parents are Like Umbrellas

The past week has been a flurry of activity, swirling around us like a dust cloud. I haven’t been as faithful to our family walks and staying active, and I have generally felt bogged down, burdened with the weight of the world seemingly pressing down onto me. Despite the overcast day and cool temperatures, today […]

Mornings From Hell™

When it was told to us that my son’s football practice would be at 6:15am BEFORE SCHOOL, I panicked. Six kids would be sleeping, to include a fussy infant. What would I do? How would I work this? How COULD I do it? He didn’t know anyone else in our neighborhood on the team, and […]

The Stolen Owl

I nervously clutched the yellow paper map the woman handed me. Her room was circled with her name written next to it. Room 109 right near the office. We took a slight detour, going through the other part of the school first, passing my son’s room, pointing out the library, eventually making way through the […]

Why Summer is Going To Kill Me

12pm After mom puts the baby to sleep, she mistakenly thinks she can actually get some work done since the kids are amusing themselves outside. 12:11pm – Eight-year-old comes in proclaiming he’s “bored.” I instruct him that there are many things he can do, or he can do chores, but he will NOT play video […]

When An Ear Infection is Meningitis. Or Not. Part 2

(Continued from Part 1) “I bet this is the first ambulance ride you’ve ever had for a patient who only has an ear infection, huh?” “Wait, what?” The EMT gripped his clipboard and pen tightly. “We were called for possible sepsis and meningitis.” “WHAT? What the hell is sepsis?!?” I yelled while gritting my teeth. […]