*When the packers say “don’t worry, we won’t pack your vacuum ma’am”, ensure they also mean all parts to the vacuum, including the part that makes it a vacuum and the part that makes it a shampooer (the one on the left).
*Vacuuming a carpet with a Dustbuster and the hose attached to your Kirby, as that’s all that you have left after the packers leave to clear on- post housing with, stinks bigtime.
*Just because you pink tape things you don’t want packed, don’t expect them to remain safe.
*Don’t listen to the packers when they tell you the movers won’t pack anything the day they arrive. They apparently get paid for each box they pack.
*Don’t be surprised to find the movers repacking most of your boxes because your stuff doesn’t all fit on the truck, while mumbling to himself that he doesn’t know what the packers were thinking.
*Regardless of how much you prepared ahead of time, do not expect cleaning/clearing to be easy with your oldest and youngest around while your middle 3 are at their friend’s house. Your oldest who’s supposed to be there to watch the youngest will fall asleep before your youngest will, and your youngest will refuse to stay asleep because the house is empty, any noise you make echoes, and all she wants is you but you only have that night to clean before inspection.
*After packing for 3 days, clearing/cleaning ’til almost 2am, do not expect to drive more than 3 hours before your 6.5 month pregnant body, complete with bad back, starts screaming at you.
*After traveling all day, even though your body wants to relax and your back is screaming for your heating pad, help your husband in with the bags or do it yourself. If you don’t, you will be stuck with the same rambunctious children who are finally out of the car, climbing the walls of the hotel room while he smokes his cigarettes and talks on his cell phone for 20 minutes.
*Just because you have an air mattress, doesn’t mean it’s going to stay inflated.
*When visiting your in-laws house for the first time in your entire relationship with your husband, ensure ahead of time that they don’t have a cat, especially considering how allergic you are.
*Do not expect to get any sleep, in your hotel, at your in-laws, or anywhere in general.
*Your 18 month old won’t sleep either, and will pick the exact time your body finally gives to decide to get up and scream.
*Your 4 year old will want to learn chess/checkers, but will cry hysterically if he loses any pieces during game play, so expect to never play fairly….ever.
*Your 18 month old thinks her brother’s chess/checkers pieces are tasty.
*Do not entrust your father in law to write out your directions, or be prepared to turn right back around to head back to his house after he gives you half the written directions to your destination and instructs you to “follow the rest of what you already had”… which “all of what you had” was the directions to HIS house..
*When husband says

  1. “It’s only 150 miles”, immediately add at least 50 if not more to that total.
  2. Same goes for “Its only about an hour.” Immediately double that. Without question. See #3
  3. “It’s only an hour further” – ask to see Mapquest’s assessment of the distance to your duty station and to his dad’s from your hotel when contemplating whether, after finishing day 2 of driving and STILL not anywhere yet, whether to go to the post or to his dad’s house. See #2
  4. “We’re not going in Dallas, we’re going around Dallas” he actually means, we’re driving completely through and around Dallas to get to his parents house and using every freeway imaginable.
  5. “My car will be fine without an oil change” yet, the last leg suddenly his car goes down to past 3/4 a tank after only filling up 85 miles before…
  6. “My dad’s potato salad is famous.” Ask why. Do not immediately assume that it’s because it’s the best he’s ever had, especially when his entire family giggles maniacally about that statement and his older married brother says his wife will be making him sleep on the couch when she finds out he ate it.

Fun times my friends, fun times. There’s probably so much more to jot down but it eludes me at present. We’re currently housed in a local Holiday Inn Express awaiting our house keys and utilizing their free wi-fi access after a yummy continental breakfast while hubby does his in-processing thing. Our stuff, we hope, will arrive tomorrow Thursday (just spoke to the driver, he should be here Thursday) 🙂

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