Did you read that? Is that not music to your ears? “Children Napping at the Same Time” That’s like Christmas come early. The deafening quiet within your house when all your
demolitioners beautiful children are in dreamland, and you can finally get something done without cradling someone, or breaking up fights, or the up/down/up/down or fighting with them to stop climbing on the furniture.
All of your children going down for a nap at the same time is as rare as your ability to go to the bathroom on your own. It just doesn’t. happen. ever.
Some of my kidlets are sick, and so I took them over to the hospital the other day, here on post, where they have our pediatrics and family practice clinics to be seen for regular appointments. Between the appointments, and waiting at the hospital pharmacy for our medication, it took us about two hours.
When we came home, as I was about to make some lunch for the hungry kiddos, the baby wailed beckoned for boob and to go down for nap. One down.
After eating approximately 1.5 fish sticks and a few carrots out of her mixed vegetables, my toddler went upstairs to play with my four-year-old, who was already finished with his lunch. Five minutes later he appears to announce she’s dead asleep on the floor of my bedroom. (Recall, my kids sleep anywhere) Two down.
My four-year-old, now bored with no one to play with, asks if we can play together. I kiss him and tell him in one second, as I was trying to finish up a post. Just as I finished and hit enter, I heard snoring. From behind me. In the dining room I find him, laying behind the chair where he sits, curled up into the fetal position on the dining room floor, completely passed-the-heck out. (Yes, same child). Three down.
Whoa. Alert the media! ALL THREE KIDS ARE ASLEEP AT THE SAME TIME!
Who do I call? My husband. It’s 2:15 and I immediately realize, they’re asleep and yet I’m supposed to leave to get my elementary school kids soon. Crap! “Hi baby. How are you? Good, good, Um, honey? Can you, by chance, pick up our kids at school today? Amazingly enough, all 3 ‘babies’ are asleep!”
After he finally believes me (it took a few to get him to comprehend the impossible had just happened), he agrees. HE AGREES! Hallelujah! Mom is actually going to get alone time!?
I celebrated a wee bit early. My littlest kidlet began squeaking. Damn! Quickly, I rushed to his side, to burp him ever-so-stealth-like, so as not to wake him fully up. Success! He’s still asleep, and burped! Woo hoo!
Carefully I laid him back down, and tippy-toed happily into the kitchen, trying not to prance too loudly. Only, a few minutes later, he’s squeaking with a bit more fury this time. Dammit! Running to his aid, I tried to burp him again, but he assumed the position. He wanted boob! Oh no! Hmm, perhaps I can get him to stay asleep breastfeeding him too. Oh please, please baby stay asleep!
Nope. After a marathon feeding, and burping, lather/rinse/repeat, I could feel he’d dirtied his diaper, and until it was changed, he wouldn’t be happy. And of course, changing his diaper caused him to be really awake, because he loves looking at me, oohing, cooing, laughing hysterically at me, with and all the cute baby-type things he does while he’s on the changing table.
Ah well, at least we know it does indeed happen. That it isn’t an old wives tale, or a myth. All three stay-at-home children can indeed nap at the same time. Too bad it doesn’t last too long, though.
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