Dearest Baby Dude,
We know we’re tasty, and filled with nutritional awesomeness, but we’re not a teething toy, nor are we something to poke at, twist, nibble or scratch. We are there for sustenance and refreshment, but dude, sometimes ya gotta give us time fill up before you come after us again! What’s with that, anyway?
We are being overused, misused, drained dry. We’re floppin’ all over the place, empty, because we can’t seem to get an hour or two to fill-er-up! We think you have to go to Boob Anonymous or something! We never get a chance to even breathe before you’re hovering over us again, yankin’, wanting more. Consider this your intervention, little man.
Duuuude, see that stuff on the plate over there? That food-type stuff? That’s good, too! In fact, that tastes even better! Go see! We know we’re comfy and warm and attached to your mom-n-stuff, but for real, ya gotta chill it. You work us harder on your own than you and your sister did tag-teaming us back when you were first born and your mom was tandem-feeding you both. That’s crazy! You work us to death, and we’re not getting any younger, do you understand what we’re saying here?
Let’s make a deal, okay? You keep eating us every day, but give us a little space, too, okay? We’ll keep nourishing you, but give us time to stock up on the goods before you come-a-knockin’ for more, alrighty then? Alrighty then.
Boob 1 & Boob 2
P.S. Stop being so damn cute all the time so your mom can resist feeding us to you more than she should, K?
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