My Next Halloween Costume – My Girly Toddler

by Lisa Douglas

I think I’m going to dress up as a toddler girl for Halloween.

I’m going to slap on anything I deem looks pretty, even if the colors don’t even remotely match, with mismatched clickety, cloppety plastic heels that make me walk funny, and stuff every barrette I can find in my hair, half hanging off.

I’m going to grab the smallest purse I own, and cram random things in it, like, stray money, tchotchkes, and my leftover chicken nuggets or grilled cheese lunch.

I’m going to snatch and wear every necklace my mommy owns, and wear them all at the same time, Mr. T-style.

I will secretly paint my finger-and-toe-nails blood red, to include finger-tips, and freak out my parents, even though I think I did a magnificent job.

I will frighten my mother by breaking into her make-up bag with all her expensive make-up, and painting my face like a clown, and make her cry – not only because of the crazy painted face, but because of the expense of having to replace everything I used that is now ruined.

After all is said and done, and my wardrobe is complete, I’ll demand to go out in public, dressed exactly like this, and wonder why the smiles that greet me are paired with giggles and sympathetic pats to the back for my sulking parents.

Yup – my costume’s gonna rock! My kids are gonna love walking around, house-to-house, with me. {high five}

Who’s with me?

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