The Differences Between The First and Second Day of School

by Lisa Douglas

It’s so funny how, no matter how much I may toss and turn, awake with my husband’s alarm each day, how getting up for myself to get the kids ready is eleventy-billion times more torturous. You know?

Even funnier, is how drastically different the first day of school is as compared to the second.

First day of school:

  • Kids’ alarms go off, they pounce out of bed. 
  • WHEEE! 
  • School! 
  • Friends! 
  • My new clothes, yes! 
  • YAY! 
  • *dance*dance*dance*

And they’re on time, fresh-faced, smiley-happy, “what can I do for you to help you, mother?” and all, Stepford kids on an adrenaline high. Even I came home, and tackled eleventeen things, felt heroic in my efforts to thwart dust-bunnies and even took the toddlers out to lunch, to applaud my efforts to kick all the mom ass there was to kick.

Please note: Well put together, clean, smiling, ready to take on the world.

Day two, however? Went something like this:

  • Alarm. Snooze.
  • FRICK, forgot to set my coffee to go off. 
  • 5:45 sucks.
  • Why am I up this early again?
  • The coffee’s not working.
  • Hear grumbles from upstairs, followed by shower sounds. 
  • Labored reporting for breakfast, followed by repeated attempts to get dressed/brush hair/”Tell your sister to remember to do..” xyz/”DAMMIT, I told you to TELL HER!”
  • Prepared to leave earlier, but it took ten minutes more to do what I did yesterday.
  • Kids schlepped out of the van.
  • Heard first squeaks of “Do I have to?” Oh boy.

Came home to repeated slurping of coffee, and immediate sustenance needed, whereas yesterday I didn’t eat for almost four hours after getting up. This morning I had to eat like I hadn’t eaten in a week.

Note: Glasses in an attempt to hide bags under their eyes, fake smiles, holes and stains on new stuff.

The honeymoon’s over. God help us for day three.

(Do you experience the same differences the first few days?)

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