It’s almost as though, the second we push them out and bring them home, who we were was a thing of the past. I was driving down the road yesterday and suddenly had a flashback to me in college, who I was, what I was doing (working in a restaurant), how I looked (skinner, hehe), things I did and wore, and how I just don’t do any of that anymore. I looked over to a well-kept woman in an SUV next to me, and often wish I had time to get up in the morning to do my hair, or makeup, or something. I cut my hair recently, but other than flat-ironing it, I’ve done nothing. The most done my hair was recently was for Halloween when I pinned it, put on a knit cap and a wig for my “Daphne” costume from Scooby Doo.
But I digress, we as parents lose ourselves, our individual beings, when we become married and have children. My husband still has most of his interests – golf, football – along with some new ones – magic, ballroom dancing (yes!) – but me, I lost writing, lost art, dancing (oh the dancing!) and fixing myself up everyday, and never letting anyone see me without makeup. What’s funny is, I’m so natural now, that the makeup so much doesn’t bother me, or the primming and prepping for my hair, but I’d at least like to look nice and not so ‘mom-ish’ wearing a t-shirt and sweats, despite how dang comfortable they are.
I want to make a point to get up everyday and dress some what nicer. To do something to my hair instead of flipping it up into a quick twist with a clip. To perhaps put a little eyeshadow on, or concealer, or something (I guess I’ve been staying away from it until I find good organic kinds).
I want to look better, so that maybe I’ll “feel” better. Pretty easy to feel kinda foggy when you’re schlepping around in sweatpants, an old t-shirt, and playing on the floor with the kids, or cleaning/doing laundry all day, you know?
So today, here’s to the memory of me back then – and in an effort to get some of “me” back, and add it to the ‘mommy me’, I’m going to do my best this week to get up and fix myself a bit. Hmm, I suppose that would mean I need to change out of my t-shirt and sweats right now, eh?
**Psst – is my blog loading slow for you? Let me know, it loads slow for me, just wondering if its my computer or a widget I have on the blog.