Magical Potty Powers of Doom™

I’ve spoken before about my magical powers for inflicting insta-sleep on my children. I am not the only one in this house with the force, however. My children have a few tricks up their sleeves, too. (Or should I say, up their diapers?)

It never fails – coat and shoes are on, purse on your shoulder, keys in the door, baby (or two) on your hip and just as you’re about to cross the threshold of your door and lock it, to leave for an appointment that you’re about to be late for – your child poops.

Every. Friggin. Time. Without fail.

I promise you, if you have a child who’s constipated, schedule an important appointment, get ready, and simply step out the door. Insta-poop out of nowhere, ta-da! You’re welcome. (Well, at least if you’re my kid with wicked, ninja-like poop, gotta-make-mom-late-for-everything powers, that is.)

How the hell does this happen? Why can’t my children just be happy with their abilities to sleep anywhere, why do they have to throw a craptastically, ill-timed Code Brown into the mix? Why do I have to be that embarrassed mother having to apologize to whomever because I had to change a stinky diaper before I left the house?

Is there a support group for this? Children Randomly Always Pooping and Parents Ironically Never Getting There On Time- C.R.A.P.P.I.N.G.T.O.T. for short.

I need help. {sigh}

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