Big Fat Parenting Mistake

by Lisa Douglas

Having a girl means pink, fluff, froo froo hair bows ‘n stuff. It means having a girl who has to carry 2389273434234 things on her person at all times, a purse, dress-up, high-heel shoes, and pretties. OH THE PRETTIES! It’s like carrying a grown woman who needs primping and prepping to the car, accessories and all, to go drop off children at school. Heck, even I don’t need this much done in the mornings, it’s just around the corner for crying out loud!

But no, husband-type person had to put my daughter in her “pretty, pretty princess dress” to sleep. Immediately upon waking, she had to have her entourage of heels, purse, wand, crown, jewelry… you name it. Annnd she had to bring it with her, to take her older brother to school, too.

Big fluffy dress + eleventy-billion girly accessories = seat belt buckling issues.

I sat there for almost a full ten minutes wrangling this child into a car seat that wasn’t prepared for princess overload. The crotch clip wouldn’t buckle. Too much fluff in her costume, I think. I almost made my son late. We were literally sprinting across the parking lot as the bell rung, the volunteer at the door who should’ve sent us to the office for a late slip took pity on me, as it was, I was in furry Elmo slippers walking running across a frozen parking lot (I think he dug my Elmos).

Needless to say, I was eager to get back home to get to my steamy pile of awesome awaiting me in my mug on the counter. But, in true princess-like fashion, on our way in from the van, my daughter began to climb the step into the house, and dropped her heel on the stoop like Cinderella.

Classic.

Yet another violation of Mommy Rule #5. New Mommy Rule, effective immediately:

11. No more sleeping in princess dresses, because they’re impossible to wrestle off her if you need to go somewhere.
12. No more traveling in princess dresses, because they’re impossible to get into the car seat.
(Possibly a #13. Grow a backbone, mom. Stop letting her get away with murder.)

toddler's cute faceOr maybe not…. who can resist that face…. {sigh}

Now, pardon me while I attempt to drink enough coffee so that I can function properly. Want some?

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