My Mornings (in a Nutshell)

by Lisa Douglas

Alarm.
Snooze.
Roll over.
Alarm.
Split-second decision made to hit snooze or get up and fumble for coffee.
Snooze.
Alarm.
GOD-FORSAKEN ALARM!
Stumble.
Coffeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
And breathe.
Slurp.
Listen for kids awake upstairs.
ARE YOU AWAKE?
Slurp again.
Contemplate making an elaborate breakfast or serving cereal.
Make eggs (somewhere in between the two choices).
Slurp.
Flip eggs.
Slurp again.
Call out to kids for breakfast, take medicine, make drinks, sit down.
Slurp while preparing lunches.
Start the car.
Usher children to hurry to finish.
Argue with children about lunch time being so far away, and to eat more.
NO YOU CANNOT BE EXCUSED, DIDN’T I JUST SAY THAT? EAT!
Slurp and breathe, Lisa.
Socks.
Shoes.
Lunches to backpacks.
Backpacks to car.
ARE YOU DONE BRUSHING YOUR TEETH YET?
Sleepy toddlers to the car.
Kids filing out of the house to car.
Keys? Check.
Cell phone? Check.
Slurp. Ohhhh check.
Snacks and drinks for toddlers to car? Check.
Sanity? Um, HA. No.
DAMMIT, IT’S ALREADY 7:25!
Buses ahead of us (grr)
Drivers with no blinkers making turns, stopping short (double grr)
School traffic (GRRRRRRR)
ID Checkpoint.
Kids finally all unloaded, on time.
Unlock kids from car seat.
Unlock door.
Retreat to coffee at my desk.
Check time – 8am.
Slurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrp.
And breathe.

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