The real back story, via his own Facebook page, is that his daughter had, yet again, violated the rules set in place about her language, Facebook, and her usage of the internet. He had grounded her before, for something similar, from the accessing anything online for three months. When he discovered her note and the many vulgarities she used and posted in a public forum, and the fact it was kept hidden via Facebook privacy settings from their family and church, purposely, this video was his reaction.
You can see his video here, in which he reads her post out loud on camera. Warning: foul language is used, as he reads her post verbatim.
This YouTube video, this man, his actions, and their family, are currently the talk of the nation today. I feel for him during this time, being thrust into the spotlight in such a way, but I have to congratulate him on one thing: GETTING PEOPLE TALKING.
Whether you believe in his drastic parenting methods or not, you have to understand, this is getting parents everywhere talking about the issue of our children, discipline, and the internet. This is an eye-opener for some parents, even if only a little, as to what may really be going on when they’re not watching. This is not about “ZOMG HE SHOT HER COMPUTER! HOW COULD HE DO THAT!” but a story on respecting one’s elders, online safety, more importantly children’s safety, and a child’s repercussions for their wrongdoings, especially if they’re repeat offenders, even if they’re small children or hormonal teenagers. Agree with him or not, you’ve got to give him ‘props’ at least for that.
One of the other things that this is showing folks everywhere is, how the online space is giving anyone a voice, even if it’s not one they’d normally use face-to-face, to voice opinions or cast judgement with a veil of anonymity. Some of these comments can be referred to the online phenomenon called “Cyber Bullying.” You can see some of the comments on some of his posts as well as articles written about his actions speak volumes to what it is we’re allowing our kids to witness in today’s digital age. The father has even admitted on his Facebook page to receiving threatening messages in his email.
Cyber bullying is a real threat. You see many stories of bullies in real life, what about on the internet? Do you know what your child is witnessing, or if your child is being bullied online or off, or if they themselves are bullying others without your knowing?
Let’s not forget the suicides as a result from cyber bullying in varying ways, either. There are kids out there like Tyler Clementi, being bullied by usage of secret videos being taken via webcam. There are girls like Amanda Cummings, bullied not only face-to-face, but even after she’s died via Facebook tribute walls. Or the Megan Meier‘s out there, being bullied by parents of peers who create fake profiles to torment teens. So many children currently struggling with being bullied on and offline without their parents knowing. It’s time we parents take a stand and get more involved.
Do you talk with your kids about their safety online? Are you fully aware of what all the websites they use nowadays are capable of, and their settings? Do you know what accounts they have, and use, and have access to those accounts, or are they kept private from you?
Do you talk with your small children about what is and isn’t allowed, behaviorally? About what is appropriate to do in public, and what isn’t? Do you talk to them about strangers? Or talk to them about feelings and relationships?
Do you discuss bullying in all forms with your children, and encourage your children to come to you with anything, whenever they need you or someone to talk to?
This is all intertwined, folks. This whole, big parenting beach ball we get to juggle with all our other balls in the air we deal with daily. You might think I’m crazy for saying so, but it’s true. Parenting today “ain’t no picnic,’ and if children today aren’t made aware of what is or isn’t allowed when they are still small, they aren’t going to expect much boundaries from their parents when they become big, either. And if parents allow them to get away with ‘too much’ while still little, they will get away with even more when they are as tall as their parents are. And, most importantly, if these parents aren’t ones who pay attention, regularly, and gets involved in their life, they should not be surprised when something like this becomes a problem.
It is our responsibility, right this very second, to make up our minds about the kind of parent we want to be, to help shape the kids into what we want them to be, and it all begins with us. It’s our responsibility to know exactly what they’re doing, at all times, whether they like it or not, and it’s so much more than ‘learning the lingo.’ We’ve got to be there for them, to help guide them, even if it isn’t the easy or most pleasant route.
I also need to address that, you could be doing everything right, and things happen that are beyond your control once they hit the hormonal teenage years. Whether it’s outside influences, or chemical imbalances, I have a few friends that are currently facing similar situations right now, good parents who could never imagine things getting to a point like they did for that NC dad, and yet, here they are, with kids who were always “good kids” that are now troubled teenagers; emotional and lost, scared and lashing out. It can happen in the blink of an eye.
Now, more than ever, I firmly believe we need to stop the finger-pointing, the Judgy-McJudgerson talk about others, and simply offer a hand, an ear, or a shoulder. Parenting is tough, and we all need to collectively stick together to get through it unscathed, don’t we?
These two articles I cited above are just so thought-provoking about the world we live in today, aren’t they? I could not resist writing about them. I hope you find them as fascinating and inspiring as I did, and I hope you’ll share them, and this, with parents around you, too. Let’s keep this conversation going, friends. It’s so important, for the lives of our children and our families.
Now, tell me, what did you think about this video, and about the French parents article?