Pre-Deployment Reality Check

Putting away the Valentine’s decorations feels like we’re boxing up love (even though that isn’t what we’re doing, even though it technically is) – we kept it up as late as we could this year. Putting up Easter, a holiday he won’t be here to celebrate, feels so empty and meaningless. I’m simply going through the motions of the bunnies and eggs and pastel grass with baskets.

I hate that this task happens to coincide, once again, with a deployment for my husband. Our Valentine’s Days have been pretty crappy due to the military in the past. I know our love isn’t being boxed up and stored away, but it sure is hard not to look at it like that when we’re counting down the days until he leaves, and it’s entirely too soon.

I’ve remained quiet here because I’m having a hard time putting feelings into words. I’m just floating through time and space right now with my family – soaking up these delicious bits of spring sunshine until my husband is thrust into a hellish hot summer climate, leaving us behind. Not even a week or so ago, there was ice and snow in the forecast. Today – sunny and high of 70. Soon (for him), high 90’s with a chance of heat exhaustion. The man will hardly get to enjoy spring before “summer.”

Separations like these are always the hardest. The little ones have no concept of time, they know morning/noon/night, they don’t get “next week” or “next month” let alone multiple months.

Baby V picked a hell of a time to become a daddy’s girl. The girls are going to have the toughest time with this one (me included), but our boys are so proud, so tough, they’re already stepping up to the task at hand – being the arms that hold and protect us until daddy’s home.