Out of the Mouth of Babes Part 10

4-year-old, coming down the stairs, calls out “That was awesome!!!” after a thump-thump-thump

He walks over to me. I ask “What baby?”

He replies, “I fell, and that was awesome!”

(‘Cuz falling down the stairs is awesome, I guess)

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9-year-old : “The Magic 8 Ball is magic, did you know that Mommy?
me: “Oh yeah? Do you know how it works? What questions to ask?”
9-year-old : “Yeah! Like, I ask it ‘is spiderman my second favorite super-hero..’ ” and he walks away, stops talking.

Seconds later I hear “SWEET!! It’s right AGAIN!!!”

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Husband: “Do you know what a conscience is?”
8-year-old daughter: “Yes! It’s what it means when you’re awake!”

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Just after I gave birth to my youngest, my 2-year-old daughter wants to breastfeed. My husband, concerned over my supply, asks if I have enough. I motion to the gigantic brick-like mountains that resemble breasts and say “Uh, absolutely!”

My 8-year-old daughter agrees, “Yeah, she has milk, she gets plenty of milk from her coffee!”

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Having just put dinner in the oven, my 8-year-old walks into the kitchen, looks at the oven, sees “350″ and says “Wow, it’s getting dark even earlier! It isn’t even 4 yet!”

“Baby, that’s not the time, it’s the oven temperature.”

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We often call my 8-year-old daughter “Captain Obvious” for some of the silly things she says that are, well, obvious. One night at the table, however, my 13-year-old said something and my four-year-old pipes up and says “You’re off the hook,” referring to my 8-year-old, then turns and fixates at my teenager and declares “You’re Captain Obvious now!”

My husband says “You’re off the chizzain!” (gettin’ gansta with him, cuz that’s how he rolls)

My 9-year-old son didn’t hear him, and says “Huh!?

My 8-year-old, formerly known as Captain Obvious, responds “Daddy says he’s off the CHICKEN!”

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