Out of the Mouth of Babes, Part 18

The kids are pouncing all over my husband, after he finished loading the dishwasher as he was helping me in the kitchen (with the stove and oven on). “Alright, kids, it’s about a million degrees in here. Stop climbing all over me, and let me go change out of winter clothes.” “But daddy,” my six-year-old […]

New Candidate for Presidency. Mom.

My son’s third grade class is learning all about the election right now, and his homework assignment last night was to write about what qualities he thinks are most important in a candidate. His answer totally surprised me and made me feel like a million bucks. I like the way he thinks, don’t you? Mom […]

Out of the Mouth of Babes Part 17, The LMFAO Edition

“Mommy, what do you think of my dress?” She calls to me, spinning in a circle, fluffing her hair just-so. “I love it, baby!” It is one of my favorite dresses she wears, after all. “Yeah, I like this PLAIDERN, too.” (She combined the words PLAID and PATTERN to create her new word, PLAIDERN. I […]

Out of the Mouth of Babes, Part 16: The Crazy Kid Edition

{CRASH} Me: (Calling from the next room) “Uh, what was that noise!?!?” Baby Sis: “That’s just us! We’re making a mess, mom!” Me: …. (Well, hey, at least their honest about it!) (It was a metal vase of faux flowers they knocked over playing super-heroes. Metal vase + fake plastic flowers + open concept house […]

Out of the Mouth of Babes, Part 15: The Marriage and Kids Version

My seven-year-old tends to ask me off-the-wall questions on the way to school. Super M: “Mommy? Why do you call Granny and Poppy ‘Mom’ and ‘Dad?’ They’re daddy’s mom and dad?” Me: “You see, baby, when you get married, your spouse’s parents become your ‘parents-in-law.’ Meaning, ‘by marriage.’ So, instead of calling them ‘mother-in-law’ or […]

The Toddler Runaway Story

After our yard sale Saturday, my daughter found the jar where we kept the loose change, rifling through it, purging it of any “excess” she felt needed liberating. She marched triumphantly inside, her baby pink purse jingling, as she took a place at our table and sat down. “Daddy? Wook at all da monies I […]

Raising a Mini-Me is Wicked Awesome

“Baby? Can you get me a diaper? Baby Dude pooped!” “In a seeeeconnnnd!” Baby Sis responds, calling to me from what sounded like the bathroom. “Baby? I need it now. I’m already wiping him.” “{Loud grumpy exhale} Fine!” I hear the door squeak, footsteps, wrestling of plastic, more footsteps, and then an angry toddler hovering […]

Out of the Mouth of Babes Part 14 – The Baby Sis Edition

Baby Sis: I see a spider! Dere! On da wagon! He’s got wong wegs! Me: That’s called a “Daddy Long Leg” Baby Sis: Yeah! Tuz he’s got wong wegs, just wike daddy does! —————————————————— (At the red light, I make a right turn.) Baby Sis: Mommy! You tan’t do dat! Red means stop! Me: I […]

Just A Day in the Life

I went to hang up my daughter’s purse collection (as seen here), and the hook fell off the wall. “Mommy, it’s bwoten (broken)!” “Yes, baby. I broke it. It fell.” “You have to fix it! When fings (things) are bwoten, you have to fix dem!” Such inspirational, yet simple words from my toddler. Heh. And […]

Mercy Like You’ve Never Seen

My kindergartner, Super M, says to me the other day at the dinner table, “Mommy? Do you weemember that chef-show that you was watching, dat had that big waydy (lady) who cooked sumfin awful? And she said ‘Oh mercy!’ Do you weemember it?” I giggle. “Yes baby?” He responds with a simple, “She was weawy […]

Are My Kids Seriously Asking About New Years Eve Already!?

Oldest daughter: Can we have apple cider for New Years Eve? Me: Sure, honey. All children collectively: YES! Oldest son: Can we stay up to watch the ball drop, too? Me: Sure.. if you think you can stay up that late… Oldest daughter: Well, it’ll drop at 11pm here. Middle daughter: It takes an hour […]

Conversations with Kids Make My Brain Hurt

After a few days of a clingy baby trying to fight to feel better, I needed space. I needed my arms and body back, to own myself and breathe fresh air and see the light of day. To escape the snot a while, basically. So I took my kids (sans sicky Baby Dude) to the […]

Out of the Mouth of Babes Part 13

(Perhaps I should call this the smacking head edition? You’ll see why in a minute.) —————————————————— Playing Rummy with my oldest son, I remind him of the rules and how it’s played. It becomes blatantly apparent he’s gotten Rummy confused with other games, because seconds later he lays a few cards down and proclaims “CHECK […]

Out of the Mouth of Babes Part 12

My five-year-old puts something in his mouth. Immediately makes a face, spits it out, and asks me what it is. “What? I don’t know? Why did you even put it in your mouth to begin with?” “Uh, because I wanted to see what it tasted wike (like).” BUT YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT IT IS!?! —————————– […]

Cuteness, Mom’s Losing Her Marbles and Party Time

My 4-year-old comes up to my husband and says: “Daddy? I don’t talk much. I’m a man of action.“ (He’s kidding me, right!?)He’s such a little man with a baby body and voice. He amazes me with the stuff that comes out of his mouth, sometimes. I am so looking forward to going to Disney, […]


(If anyone can decipher this, you get a prize. For realz) Son: Did you know there one was a baby born with six fingers and six toes?Daughter: Eww!Son: What?! That’s no different than being born with two heads!Daughter: Yes, there’s a difference! What’s twelve plus twelve? …. Kids make my brain hurt. Never miss a […]

The Vlog You’ve Been Waiting For!

You recall Part 1 to this story, and then Part 2. Here’s it is! I finally got it! Here it is! Enjoy my wackiness! 😉 —————————————————— Like these? Catch up on my other “Out of the Mouth of…” posts: Out of the Mouth of HusbandsRaising a Mini-Me is Wicked Awesome Out of the Mouth of […]

Out of the Mouth of Babes Part 11

When we pair socks together after doing laundry, in our home we call it “marrying socks”. Last night my 9-year-old asked if he could help me “marinate” them. ————————————— My four-year-old was ooh-ing and aah-ing away at the baby, and commented how the “baby was getting to know him.” ————————————— My 9-year-old decided he wanted […]

Out of the Mouth of Babes Part 10

4-year-old, coming down the stairs, calls out “That was awesome!!!” after a thump-thump-thump He walks over to me. I ask “What baby?” He replies, “I fell, and that was awesome!” (‘Cuz falling down the stairs is awesome, I guess) —————————————————— 9-year-old : “The Magic 8 Ball is magic, did you know that Mommy? me: “Oh […]

Out of the Mouth of Babes, Part 9

4-year-old: “Mommy, can I have a cookie pwease?” Me: “In a minute, honey.” 4-year-old: “Pweeeeeeeeeeease? I’w wet (I’ll let) you watch TV before I go to bed!” ——————————————– 4-year-old: “Mommy? Why did we name him that? (Referring to the baby). Why can’t we name him Shane? Awex? Hambugga?” ——————————————– 9-year-old son: “You’re not making sense. […]

Out of the Mouth of Babes, Part 8

My 4-year-old is sitting behind me on the couch, coo-ing at his newborn brother, who’s smiling at him. “Hi baby,” he says in a gentle, sweet voice, “it’s Uncle!” he says. I giggle, “Baby, you’re a big brother, not an uncle.” “Oh, heh, yeah, I fuhgot. Sowwy!” he responds. He lovingly reaches over to stroke […]

Out of the Mouth of Babes, Part 7, and other Kidlet Cuteness

——————————————————- 4 Year Old Cuteness “Grandma, put your glasses on so I can see you better!” ——————————————————- While his 19 month old sister plays with her little neighbor friend, my 4 year old walks and sees her playing. “Mommy, did that baby (the neighbor) come out of your tummy?” “Uh. No honey.” “Well where did […]

Out of the Mouth of Babes, Part 6

This morning’s are particularly giggle-worthy 🙂 Enjoy! On the way to school…. My 8 year old: Did you know they faught a war at the Alamo, mommy? In 1869! Me: Really? My 8 year old: Yes! It was between Texas and Mexico. Texas wanted to be free. My 7 year old: Wow. Who won? (*giggle*) […]

Out of the Mouth of Babes, Part 5

Pointing to the trees, now forming buds, I show my children on the way to school that spring is indeed here. I also pointed out a lovely purple flowered tree. My 3 year old: “Oooh, wook (look) it! That pretty, big, medium one! I wove (love) to collect the trees and the weaves (leaves). It’s […]

Out of the Mouth of Babes, Part 4

My 3 year old is holding a vacuum attachment at the table, blowing through it, sounding like a wheezing Darth Vader. So I say “Hey Darth Vadar, finish your dinner!” Hubby chimes in “No, he’s Dork Vader.” My 8 year old son and I giggle, “Haha, Dork Vader!” My 3 year old proclaims, “Noooooo!!! I’m […]

Out of the Mouth of Babes, Part 3

(Foreward, I promise you were aren’t a genital-centered family, it’s just a fascination for my 3 year old at present, heh) I’m changing my youngest. My 3 year old looks down, as I’m changing her, and asks: 3 year old: “Does she (my youngest) have a weiner?” Me: “No honey, she’s a girl.” 3 year […]

Out of the Mouth of Husbands

After waking up late (i.e. shutting the alarm off and going back to bed) he arrives at the office, late. His commander says “Where ya been?” Hubby responds, “I had car trouble, sir.” Commander: “Oh yeah, what kind?” Hubby: “The kind where I didn’t get in it on time, sir.” *giggle* —————————————————— Like these? Catch […]