Defeated by Pajamas, Powered by Coffee

by Lisa Douglas

It was one of those days where, both my infant and toddler decided to poop, simultaneously, within 20 minutes of just having their diapers changed already, and it was only 9am.

Yeah, that kind of day.

I hadn’t even finished my first cup of coffee yet, and I’m trying to button my infant’s pajamas. Only, it isn’t working. Upon inspecting, it seemed as though I had ripped a button clear out of the fabric.

I blinked a few times, and just keep staring at it. There’s no hole?! How can this be? How did I do that?!

Then I see it.

I was looking at the other end of the fabric, the button was just fine, I’m just an idiot.

(Don’t ask. Apparently, not enough coffee + changing diapers = lunacy)

Freaked out by my scary, cat-like craziness, I continue to button him up, only to come to another “unbuttonable” button, this time apparently covered by cloth, as though I had mis-buttoned somewhere along the way and run out of snaps, or something.

So I went in for a closer look and discovered, nope, I had indeed done it right, there was just this magical flap of terrycloth covering it that I guess I had to move out of the way.

I’m really not this dumb, I promise. I’ve been around the block a time or two (or six, but who’s counting). I guess I’m not kidding anymore when I say, coffee makes my brain work. I just proved my joke to actually be true.

Scary.

New mommy rules, effective immediately:

  1. Do not change diapers before first cup of coffee is finished.
  2. Do not button up pajamas before first cup of coffee is finished.
  3. Try not to use your brain to figure anything else out before first cup of coffee is finished.
  4. Make coffee earlier, and drink it faster, as your children are not going to abide by numbers 1-3.

Oh, and guess who just made one of the Top 100 Blogs for Expecting Mothers along with Dooce , Type-A Mom, BlueSuitMom, The Intrepid Mompreneur, Celebrity Baby Blog, The Motherload and more?? 🙂

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