13 Things You Never Want to Hear Your Child Say, Letterman Style

by Lisa Douglas

Number 13 – “He just zipped up his weiner!”
Number 12 – “Hey mom? Is this marker permanent?” {gulp}
Number 11 – (When in the car) “What’s this pedal do?” Been there already. And again.
Number 10 – “Hey look! Cool! Look what I can fit in my nose!”
Number 9 – “Mom, I can’t get the game out of the Wii”
Number 8 – “You flush it!” “Nooo, you flush it!”
Number 7 – “Hey mom, did you know you can make the baby stop crying by making funny faces at him after he’s fallen off the couch?” {thud} What!? Who put him on the couch!?!
Number 6 – “Mom, it’s stuck.” (cuz it doesn’t matter what “it” is, “it” is never good.)
Number 5 – “Mom, I need help. I can’t get down from here!”
Number 4 – (While watching TV, a diet informercial comes on) “Hey mommy, why don’t you try that?” {cue deflating ego}
Number 3 – “Hey mom, I’m a piggy bank! I swallowed money!”
Number 2 – (Child answers the phone because you can’t) “No, she can’t come to the phone. I think she’s in the bathroom pooping.”

And the Number 1 thing you never want to hear your child say…..

“Uh oh.”

And let me just say, I am so beyond thankful that I’ve only heard a couple of these. *ahem*

Thirteen things you never want to hear your child say. Ever. Never ever never.

Cheaper Than Therapy
C’mon, I know you got some of your own for me. Let’s hear ’em!

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