First Solid Foods Humor

by Lisa Douglas

Um, guys?

I got a baaaaad feeling about this. Are you sure I’m ready? I mean, I like boob. I’m perfectly happy with boob. I was just kidding with the whole, whining, crying, not leaving mom alone to feed all the time, and keeping you both up at night thing. Early April Fools and stuff. My bad, really! Can we just stick with the boob? That applesauce stuff looks like my sister’s boogers. Just sayin’.
Whoa goodness! Here we go. Alright Dad, I think I’m ready. Should I have made out a will for this or somethin’, cuz this is the bigtime here folks. I’m growing up and.. {mumble-mouthful}
Uh… this isn’t anything like what I’m used to…. and what’s expected of me here? I have no teeth, so I can’t chew this stuff. Do I suck it and swallow?! Gosh I need a “What To Expect When You’re Eating Crappy Baby Food For The First Time” book.
Uh… this big build up for this? This is what they consider edible? Why am I even growing? This doesn’t live up to the hype. At all.
You know Dad, I really hate don’t like you right now. I had something really cool planned for Father’s Day, but after this ridiculous crap you’re feeding me, you’re getting a poopy diaper. Yeah, I said it.
MMmmph {mumble}no{mumble}not{mumble}another{mumble}one!
(The picture says it all)
Seriously hating you right now, father. I shall henceforth refer to you as Darth Hater, as in, hatin’ on this applesauce! Jerk!
Oh. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. Oh, no wait, that’s just applesauce.
Pssst!!! Sister! I’ll pay you 2 teething biscuits and some extra boob-time with mom if you eat this for me, mm k?
You really had to feed me another one, huh?
I’m so tired. Can I be done now? Please? I just want boob. Boob doesn’t look like boogers like this stuff does. I like boob. Can I have it? Can you give this booger-like stuff to someone else?
Seriously, wha’d I ever do to you guys? Huh?{wretch} I seriously hope this isn’t all there is to eating solids, or there’s going to be a fight, and I WILL PREVAIL! I’m getting a retaliation idea going on here. One that involves you, your bed, and being up all night. Party at my crib, what-up!

All is fair in love and in baby food.

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