It’s 10:22pm.
I’m tired with a chronic headache that has lasted almost a week, thanks to an eye ulcer and infection. Today has been a largely full day of chasing kids, breaking up fights, laundry spilling out of the laundry room because it towers too high, school pick-ups and drop-offs, breastfeeding marathons with a cranky teething toddler with pharyngitis and me, doing my best at trying not to go lose. my. @#%$&!*# mind.
And I feel like a big, honkin’ F-for-FAILURE since returning from Blogher and vacation.
I can’t get back into my groove. I can hardly recall what day it is let alone what I’m supposed to pull out for dinner, or do next in my day. And yet, the strange thing is, while I’m fumbling for normalcy and clarity, my family is orbiting around me, doing their ‘thing’, keeping it together. The kids are napping at the appropriate times again (and we’ve only been back from vacation for three days and it’s only day two of school). I may not even realize it, but dinner’s already been pulled out and set aside. Things get put away around me, without me, without my even knowing until several hours pass and I get that jolt of “D’oh!” and run around like a crazy person only to realize it’s been long done and over.
I feel like I’m losing my mind.
I don’t know what’s happening, if it’s post-vacation hangover, or too much happening at once (vacation, Blogher, school starting), but I just know that I’m trying my damnedest to grip onto life here at home again, and it’s swirling away from me.
I could use a nap, or a good swift kick in the ass. Maybe even a friend’s shoulder. But definitely a tissue.
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