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| Updated weight loss pictures |
As you may or may not know, it’s been two years since I began my weight loss journey. (OMG! Two years and I missed the “dietoversary” date! Whoops!) I can’t believe how much my quality of life and health have changed in these two years, and how different and wonderful I feel since I started. I feel as though a weight has been lifted (um, literally), like I was given the gift of a second chance at living and loving life the right way. I feel so foolish for all those years wasted, doubting myself, doubting that I could do it, and I feel even more foolish for what I’m about to say.
I still feel that same hunger-pang of self-doubt and failure, sometimes.
That gut-wrenching, nervous-stomach feeling, like you’ve failed, that you’re never, ever going to get “there” (wherever “there” is), and that you’re fighting a losing battle? I can’t believe it, but I still get it. After all I’ve lost, and strengthened, and healthified on my body, to admit these words is downright ridiculous! Yet, unfortunately, it’s still sometimes true. It seems it isn’t my body in need of an overhaul, it’s my brain.
I confessed to you about how I raided my closet before Disney, looking for conference-worthy clothes, ones I hadn’t touched in months (with nothing razzle-dazzle to attend) only to find them too tight, and having to resort to larger sized clothes that were in the In-Need-of-a-Tailor pile (thank goodness I never sent them).
Ever since, I’ve straightened myself up, and vowed to make a change to try to ascertain why my body is being so stubborn, considering this a fail on my part. Surely, I must be doing something wrong, right? I began alternating running with kettlebell workouts, and purchased an elliptical recently. I have also chose to try eating gluten-free, which, I will admit, makes me feel more energized and healthier, but while I feel good, being so fit and active, the scale still is not budging, nor are my measurements. And, while completely frustrating, I see what needs to happen, now; what needs to change is not my fitness routine or eating habits, it’s my HEAD.
My Mission: Healthier Me is to try (desperately) not to feel so defined by “the number” and to relish in the fact that I am healthy, even if I don’t feel the number accurately depicts that. I’m going to stop focusing so much on the scale and realize it’s the overall accomplishment of health that matters. I will stop being a naysayer, a party pooper, and a Debbie Downer, and go easier on myself, instead of being my toughest critic.
{Insert confession-filled exhale here}
I am going to stop beating myself up, and, instead, hold my head up high, and work my ass off, just as I have been, and ENJOY it! I enjoy running! I enjoy eating well, and enjoy choosing good foods, and enjoy working out, and looking at my new reflection in the mirror. So what, if the Wii Fit scale doesn’t say I’m at my lowest weight since partaking in this journey – why should it? Isn’t the fact that I’m healthy what’s important here? And why is it old habits die so hard?
I am on a mission now, friends. I need to stop being so damn overly critical of myself, and give myself a freakin’ break once in a while. The end result of all of this, in the beginning, may have been to lose weight, but I think my body is telling me that I did it, I’m done. And any fine-tuning I need to do, now, shouldn’t have anything to do with weight or the scale, if I’m doing the right thing – working out and eating right.
Would you like to join us? You might decide your Mission: Healthier Me is to lose weight, or cut out soda, or to make healthier choices, or incorporate exercise daily. Whatever you choose, choose something healthy, that’s it! And follow along with us while we support one another to achieve our missions together. We plan to post every week on Fridays what we’re up to and how we’re doing. C’mon, join us!
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