I believe in things happening for a reason. That said, after the time I’ve had lately, I have no doubt in my mind I was meant to find a December issue of Parenting magazine sitting on my bathroom sink. I picked it up. One of the featured articles was 5 Ways to Raise a Grateful Child. I picked it up, brought it downstairs, and earmarked the article on page 90 for later.

Amazingly enough, searching for this article online, to share with you to write this post, I found three other articles, Raising a Kid Who Cares, Raising a Compassionate Child, and Raising a Child Who’s Thankful (Not Spoiled), which are not only related to the previous article, but related to my current situation as well.

Everything indeed happens for a reason. I was asking for help and insight, and I received some in an unexpected but welcomed way. I believe I was meant to share my experiences with you, and you, in turn, were meant to share your similar experiences with me, and we were meant to find and read these articles and work together to support each other and help one another, don’t you think?So, if you don’t mind, I’d like to share what I’ve read and am planning to apply to my own situation, in case you were one of the many who replied you were going through the very same thing.

Remind yourself to model grateful behavior. When your cookie-muncher goes silent, go ahead and say the necessary “Thank you so much!” for him. (At least until he gets older and can be counted on to follow your cues.) In your own everyday interactions, always offer warm thank-yous and praise to grocery store clerks, gas-station attendants, waiters, teachers — anyone who’s helpful to you or him. You may think your child isn’t paying attention to those small moments, but he actually is. – From 5 Ways to Raise a Grateful Child

Oh boy! I must admit, I don’t think I’m doing such a spectacular job with thanking strangers and people I encounter. I know I’m gun-shy when thanking someone for a compliment, flustered that someone offered one to me (and I’m working on that). But it never crossed my mind that my children were learning whether to be thankful from whether or not I thanked others, and now I feel foolish for not having realized that, sooner. I thank my children all the time for when they do things for me, or help me in some way, but I guess they need to witness me saying it to others, too. I will work more diligently on this.

Expose your {child} to people from all walks of life. “We often try to shield our children from those who are less fortunate, but it’s important that kids know how lucky they are,” says Dale McGowan, a father of three in Atlanta and coauthor of Parenting Beyond Belief. So the next time you see a homeless person, pass a shelter, or read a story in the news about a needy family, he suggests, ask questions — “Where do you think that man sleeps?” or “Can you imagine what it would be like not to have a home?” — that get your kids to put themselves in someone else’s shoes. (At the same time, assure them that your family will always have a place to call home.) You’ll be surprised — and pleased — at how often kids are moved to want to help. From 5 Ways to Raise a Grateful Child

Fascinating idea here, isn’t it? I’m one of those parents who wants to bubble up our home to repel any evil or wrongdoing, or sadness. But perhaps maybe, in my wanting everything to be “A-OK” I’m preventing them from experiencing life through others shoes (or lack thereof) to make them more appreciative of their own, even if they aren’t the coolest or most expensive.

Around 9 or so, kids can really appreciate compassion for its own sake: It feels good to be good to others. But don’t forget that the praise for being kind that worked so well with your toddler will still make a difference. Maybe even a bigger one. There’s a lot of pressure that goes along with being a preteen, and it’ll help him to be reminded that the things he does and says are valuable. – From Raising a Kid Who Cares

I really like this idea of positive reinforcement. I’m going to make a bigger deal out of the things they do to help, in hopes that, the more I make out of the good they do, the more they want to be praised, and not admonished for not doing it.

 ..with so much hatred and turmoil in the world today, it seems more important than ever to raise kids who can understand and be kind to other people. Teaching this doesn’t mean lectures or visits to soup kitchens. It’s part of day-to-day life: how you answer your child’s questions, how you solve conflict at the park, how you nudge his or her growing capacity to understand and think about other people.Temperament of course plays a role  — some kids are naturally more tuned in to other people’s feelings and difficulties, while others are a bit oblivious. Either way, you have influence in fostering your child’s ability to empathize. – From Raising a Compassionate Child

I think I’ve found a huge issue here. I’m almost positive this is *the* issue in our home – how we talk to one another – one I’ve often addressed. I am positive that with the older children cranky with the younger children, and then cranky, stressed parents not 100% listening to cranky children, that we’ve lost a synergy in our home. Absolutely, without a doubt, going to stop this from happening and ensure everyone has a voice and is talked to properly.

 Expect more. When it comes to your child’s responsibility to be caring and compassionate, set your standards high. Don’t let teasing or bullying go unaddressed. At 7 and 8, kids are starting to be able to see the world from another person’s perspective.In a complicated and troubled world, it’s easy to feel that nothing we do will make a difference. This can lead to compassion burnout  — for us and for our kids. The key is to start small.- From Raising a Compassionate Child

While I do not tolerate bullying of any kind, I do want to reinforce this more often, and I will set my standards higher for how I wish for them to behave, especially with each other.

I learned a great deal from these articles, giving me a direction and course of action for where to go with the kids right now. Some of you shared with me that you’re going through the same issues as I am. I hope these articles help you, too. And, if you’ve found other articles that have helped, would you mind sharing them with me in the comment section?

Many thanks to the wonderful articles provided by Parenting.com on this subject. Here’s to having more compassionate, caring and happier children (and mommies)!


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