November Twenty and Birthday Reflections

by Lisa Douglas

I’ve lived thirty-six years on this earth, and every time I see November 20th on a food expiration date, or advertised online, or written/typed anywhere, I revert back to being a kid again to proclaim (if only in my head) “Hey! That’s MY birthday!”

I still can’t believe I’m not a kid anymore. Sometimes I’ll be sitting on the floor of my living room, or on the soccer sidelines, and it’ll hit me, HOLY CRAP! I’m not a kid! I’m a mom. I have kids of my own… SEVEN kids to be exact. And I’m married! I’m not nine-years-old with my crazy helmet perm listening to Cyndi Lauper, riding bikes, and playing Space Invaders at the arcade anymore.

Birthdays as a child were so magical, weren’t they? You’d walk around a little straighter, perhaps attempting to be taller, because, after all, you WERE a year older, surely you must’ve grown overnight! This morning I didn’t feel any taller, or older. In fact, the only thing I felt this morning, other than tired, was left eye pain at 6am from sleeping in my contacts. They apparently scratched my eye in my sleep. Crap.

But I woke up to a beautiful love note next to a fresh-brewed pot of coffee by my husband. He still has to work today, but he has a plan to concoct me a special, super-secret dinner tonight.

Looking at Baby V, seeing her smile and inquisitive eyes smiling back at me as I tickle her chin, I realize, she was just a basketball in my belly last year this time. Among all the firsts she’s already experiencing, this is her first time celebrating MY birthday with me on the outside.

If my mother hadn’t given birth to me thirty-six years ago, this adorable, chaotic, teething angel would not be here to grace the earth with her dimples and laughter. The crazy, ridiculously good looking kids stomping around upstairs like elephants as they play would not be here, either.

That whole circle of life thing is kind-of blowing my mind right now. My mother gave birth to me, and, in turn, created, even if in the future, my babies along with me. And me, by birthing my children, I’ve given birth to my children’s future babies and grandbabies. Holy mind explosion, Batman!

As complex and intricate as those thoughts are, I want today to be anything but. Today, I want to get a few family shots in the yard today while the flowers are still alive, the weather’s nice, and my new memory card for my camera is empty. It feels it should be like any ordinary day, except today I will picnic at the park with my kids for lunch, and have a special, secret dinner prepared for me by my husband.

As simple and low-key as that sounds, to me, it’s absolute perfection.

You may also like


Sharing is Caring

Help spread the word. You're awesome for doing it!