13 Reasons We Need to Move

These are my thirteen reasons we want to apply to move into the newer five-bedroom military housing that they’re building here on post. (Ha, as if there were only thirteen reasons to get out of this house!) Tell me what you think.. will they approve our request?

13. Air-conditioning. There’s a gigantic cylinder-type thing that likes to think it’s an A/C unit, but really it only plays one on TV.
12. Our house is ugly and requires a buttload of plants to make it not so ugly anymore. Remember my post – Making a Military House a Home with Plants?
11. Loud neighbors with music and boom boxes blaring at all hours. (Did I seriously just date myself by saying “boom box”? Oy)
10. Spiders. Nuff said.
9. Black Widows. Nuff said.
8. Water isn’t supposed to be chlorinated to the point of reeking like pure bleach. My scalp needs the move, even if I don’t get to go.
7. Front and back doors do not close well, which equates to letting air and bugs in. Adios, muchachos.
6. Because this house has a penchant to ruin perfectly good computers. True story.
5. I’ve mentioned spiders, right?
4. Flooding out of no where. Some might like a river in their yards. I’m not one of those people.

3. Stuff is falling off the walls. First it was a sconce, now it’s one of the new shelving units above the washer/dryer. I kind-of like my stuff enough to not want to see it smashed to bits because the walls suck.
2. Our kitchen is WAY TOO SMALL. I have a big family with a lot of food to cook. Momma needs some room!

Do I even need to say what number one is?

1. Trees falling on your kid’s play area in your back yard in the middle of the night.

As if you couldn’t already imagine, I’m so thankful that no one was hurt.

So, what do you think? Will they sign off on our application to get the heck out of Dodge?? I’d really love a new, 2200 square foot home to sprawl out in. We’re way too cramped here.


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