Oh, if only there was some magical book out there that cracked the “kid” code of all the goofy stuff they constantly do that makes you scratch your head. I’ve compiled a list of the Top Ten things I wish they WOULD put in those parenting books:
- Why, after you spend your time washing, drying, folding, and separating into appropriate piles, why it always ends up on the floor/bed/chair/end table/desk… (That is, if they take it upstairs to begin with)
- Why are computers so fascinating to little ones? And why, oh why, must they bash on them (and other important items) like a drum?
- Why adding one little body into your big king-sized bed suddenly means no room for anyone to sleep?
- Why children have a fascination with stashing things instead of putting them away. Evidence here: And here: And here:
- Why is wearing food a “thing?”
- How do children have pinpoint laser-like accuracy to zero in on dad’s junk?
- Why paper isn’t an acceptable item to write on?
- Why, if it isn’t staring them in their faces, can’t they look for something themselves? Case and point – the Rotten Meat Van™ incident:
- Why are kids allergic to taking off their clothes appropriately?
- And last, but certainly not least..Why can’t they fall asleep somewhere normal. Like, in a bed?!
What would YOU add to this list? I can’t wait to hear it!
Despite their crazy stuff, I love it all. Every last second, including this one that seems just like yesterday. Those parenting books never tell you about the tremendous amount of love that is possible.
(And that your children will likely and simultaneously explode your heart from love and make you a lunatic.)