children

Kids Sleep Anywhere: The Field Day Edition

May 18, 2012 By Lisa Leave a Comment

My seven-year-old, Super M, had his school’s “field day” yesterday. Thankfully, with all the military moves we’ve endured, and the school changes and differences in school curriculums, no matter where we’ve moved to, every school our kids have attended have held a “field” or “fun” day in which the kids get a day to be KIDS, and HAVE FUN. Some schools have water activities, some schools do olympic-type events with medals and ribbons, some have bouncy houses, while some have a combination. But no matter what they do, it’s always a blast for both the teachers and the students to have a “fun” day off.

At this elementary school, they not only offered water fun, but a chance to get a special school shirt and water bottle for the event (nice quality, too). He went to school in his new shirt and bathing suit, proudly strutting into school with his change of clothes for afterward. After their water activities, there were booths where they could win prizes, enjoy snacks, and meander to and fro with their friends. To say he had a blast is an understatement; he came home THRILLED with his self-proclaimed best.school.day.ever.

Also, apparently, he came home a little tired, too.

HOW IS THIS COMFORTABLE!?!

I’m still not sure why this blanket box is so enticing. Baby Sis has enjoyed napping in it, too.

Crazy, right? Ah, well. He earned that nap.

–

(If you haven’t noticed, my kids have a knack for this sleeping anywhere business. Check out more hilarious photos by browsing my kids sleep anywhere series!)

Never miss a thing! Subscribe today for all kinds of crazy parenting fun!

Twilight Zone Kind-of Weird

May 17, 2012 By Lisa Leave a Comment

Have you ever awakened to be greeted by a stranger-than-normal day? As if your alarm clock’s ring was the theme song to the Twilight Zone, and everything you do and experience feels strange, pegging your day as one best spent in bed instead of trying to get anything done? That was my day yesterday.

I woke up to my eleven-year-old, Captain Obvious. picking out my seven-year-old’s outfit for him for school. She NEVER picks out his outfit. “What are you doing?” I asked her.

“I’m getting his clothes..” she muttered to me, as she sifted through his folded clothes on his bed (y’know, the ones he forgot to put away the night before).

“Uh.. okay? Why?” I asked, wiping the sleep from my eyes.

“I don’t know…” she couldn’t answer, she just continued her task, slightly smiling.

As she continued to choose his clothes, I watched her grab all the right things, pulling out a pair of jeans, a button-up shirt, and underwear. I shrugged, knowing I had a laundry list of other things to tackle that school morning, I walked away to let her do it. I went about what I had to do without giving it another thought, other than trying to shrug it off in it’s weirdness. I appreciated the help, but it was just… odd.

The kids all seemed off, actually. I had to constantly remind them of simple things, and even I was having trouble clearing the fog from my head. But, amazingly enough, despite the strangeness of the morning already, we still managed to achieve leaving early. I snapped the baby into her car seat securely and off we went for school drop-offs.

Not even five minutes from home, Baby V began fussing. She NEVER fusses this early in a car trip, not since the beginning. In fact, she’s been doing a lot better in the car lately. More oddities. By the time we pulled up to the middle school (ten minutes away), she was full-fledged crying with real crocodile tears. I hadn’t nursed her before we left, I realized, and I pulled into a guest parking spot, let the kids out, and took the extra five minutes I had being early to nurse her quiet in the back seat.

Once she was quiet and happy and fed and burped, I continued on, realizing that I was pushing it, now, to make it to the elementary school for my son on time. It didn’t seem to matter much, though, because the second I opened the sliding door to greet my elementary schooler, Super M, I noticed his shirt (the one his sister picked out) – it was filthy. FIL-FREAKIN-THY.

She had picked out a dirty shirt that was, oddly, stacked with his clean clothes on his bed. Apparently, he had taken off his clothes and never put them in the laundry (not a shock) but, what was odd was that it wasn’t still on the floor, crumpled like his dirty laundry normally is, but stacked with the CLEAN clothes, and SHE didn’t notice the stains at all? And HE didn’t notice them while putting it on, either? A white button down shirt? I mean, COME ON, he had to be STARING at the stains to get it buttoned! What the hell!?

“OH, COME ON, DAMMIT!” as I shut the door and drove off to go home to get him a change of clothes.

I kept reminding myself that she was trying to help… but I still cannot believe neither SHE nor HE saw the brown spots all over his white shirt (like he smeared chocolate milk, cookies, or mud on his shirt). GAH! What was going on!?!

Once dropped at school, I drove into the driveway to make my invisible stuff discovery with my fertilizer guns. I could literally hear the Twilight Zone music echoing in my ears, still. So weird.

After slurping a few cups of coffee, working out, and getting a peaceful-but-quick shower all to myself (YES!!!), I remember feeling so up and full of life on the way to my lunch date with Sara. I kept thinkin’, “Today’s going to be a GREAT rest of the day!” with the sun shining, the kids all happy and eager to play at Chick-Fil-A with a new friend, and mom was going to get some adult conversation (yes!!).

I should’ve known the Twilight Zone-esque vibes would ruin it, when I caught a glimpse of my daughter’s ass in the bench seat unsuspectingly. “What the.. baby!?” I whisper-yelled, “You’re not wearing any UNDERWEAR!?!?!?”

Baby Sis cowered in her seat a little without answering me.

She.was.wearing.a.dress.

“What the….” and Sara and I shared a laugh. But seriously, how do you NOT REMEMBER UNDERWEAR? Didn’t she feel a little “breezy” down south?

I sat there in disbelief for a bit, my poor baby was going to have to sit there, now, next to the glass window, and watch all these other kids play to their heart’s content and she couldn’t, because she had no freakin’ underwear, and I wasn’t going to let her flash everyone her ‘cookies’ all commando-style.

Dammittohellandbackagain!

But my day wasn’t made complete, yet. Baby V was put in her car seat temporarily while I attempted to put my son’s diaper on my underwear-less daughter, so she could try to play a little (which lasted all of five seconds, she’s been out of diapers for years, she didn’t want that thing on anymore than I wanted to put it on her). Upon lifting Baby V from the car seat, I smelled her baby breastfed poo – mostly odorless, it has that unmistakeable smell to it that I immediately recognized. Sure enough, she had exploded in her car seat, out her diaper, and onto her outfit.

WHAT IS IT WITH MY KIDS AND CLOTHING TODAY!? I thought-yelled in my head to myself.

I finally got her cleaned up and changed, finally got a few more bites of my delicious salad in my belly, and after a few more (interrupted) conversations by my rambunctious littles, we were about to leave, when my wardrobe decided to malfunction, too. (Thankfully, not Janet Jackson style. Ahem.)

My $30+ Sanuk left sandal busted – the strap came unglued from the yoga mat bottom, and now I couldn’t keep the sandal under my foot. (Have you ever tried to walk with a broken sandal? It’s IMPOSSIBLE!) I hobbled to the garbage can, back to the table, and out to my car, schlepping slowly in a busy, lunch-time parking lot, cars whizzing by, take-out line long and crazy, and there I was, gimping along, trying to get to my car and seated so I could go home and make sense of my weird day. I figured I could patch my sandal with Super Glue or something, but seriously? Could anything more possibly happen? Or was this really it for me today?

Have you ever had a day that went non-stop wrong for you? (Or am I the only one with this sort-of “luck?”)

Mother’s Day Magic

May 13, 2012 By Lisa Leave a Comment

Two years ago, I had arguably the worst Mother’s Day ever. My husband was away, I was sick, and the kids completely forgot the day altogether. Not only did they forgot about it, they didn’t even bother to help their ailing mother, either. It was so odd in it’s awfulness how it all went down that day. I suppose you could call it the Anti-Mother’s Day.

You can imagine that, when I got sick last week, I feared a repeat of two years ago. My husband is, yet again, away for Mother’s Day, and all I could imagine was the same scenario playing out in the same way. God help me, I’d been dreading Mother’s Day since.

Instead, in the past few days, I’ve seen the kids whispering to one-another. I’ve heard things like, “I’ve got the bacon,” or “You do that!” I know something is in the works, and it excites me to see them this excited. Maybe it was a lack of direction two years ago, but they all seem super-motivated to make the day special for me this year.

The funny thing is, everyday being their mom is a special one. (Even that crappy Mother’s Day.)

I don’t need fancy trinkets or glittery jewelry (although I will say I adore the mother’s ring I received many Mother’s Days ago). Give me a good, heart-felt card with a lot of kid-scribbled signatures on it, with crayon-colored pictures plus secret art surprises from school- those make my day. I love it when they try to cook for me, too, even if it is only PB&J and chips. I can’t stop smiling by all the love, attention and hugs I get. That is what makes the day for me.

The funniest thing my mom ever did was "She ran out the door like someone died but she was going for a run." LOVE IT!

That card above is one of those “things” that make us mother’s smile. They are some of the most interesting, hilarious, truth-telling gifts any mother could get; ones worthy of being put in the “save forever and ever” box that we can look back on, becoming permanently etched on my heart forever.

This year, despite being husband-less, I plan to make the most of my Mother’s Day with them, with a little help from the folks at Hallmark, using something even more special that their brilliant minds at work – their voice.

I.Could.Not.Be.More.Excited.About.This.

In a whirlwind trip to nearby Austin two weeks ago, I visited a lovely Mansion hotel for a breakfast reception. I was running late, (we couldn’t find anywhere to park), and was immediately met with the ear-to-ear smiles by my dear friend and one of my favorite moms, Kim of Prairie Mama. After many hugs and baby squishes between the both of us, I got to ogle at some of Hallmark’s newest products, and they lovingly gave us a goodie bag to take home. One of those products they gave us is the one I plan to use today with my kids.

As a military wife, I already knew how fanfreakingtastic their recordable storybooks are. Children can enjoy listening to their deployed parent read them a story anytime, anywhere. I have a soft spot in my heart for a company that changes lives like that. Turns out, they weren’t finished.

I couldn’t control the tears as I poured through the pages of this recordable survey book. Now I get to cement in time my kids’ voices answering these questions for me. I’m one of those REMEMBER ALL THE THINGS parents, and this is the tippy top of the icing on the cake for a collector-of-memories mom like me. So special.

Win it!

Would you like to win one of these Mom & Me books for yourself? Leave a comment to enter. You can earn extra entries for sharing this, one entry per share. Leave a comment for each. Contest ends May 21st 10pm CST.

Do you get mushy over cards like these, too? What’s the funniest thing your child has ever said on one of these? What is your favorite Mother’s Day memory?

Hallmark lovingly gave me the book, and a smidge of other prezzies to take home, but did not ask me to write this post. I just wanted to show them some love, in appreciation for their awesomeosity. Thank you for helping make my Mother’s Day special.